10 Beautiful Women Who Are Way More Intelligent Than You

Run for the hills, lads! They exist!

No but seriously fellow man-people, a beautiful yet intelligent woman (heh. I said "yet") is something that deserves our worship as much as our apprehension. You see, beautiful women don't need to be intelligent. They'll get along just fine in life saying "O RLY?" at everything you say, as you confuse them all the way to the bedroom and mount them just as they figure out, to their horror, what the frick is happening. So, when a woman defies convention by being both hot AND thinking your vast array of chat-up lines based around the model "do you have any (insert nationality here) in you? want some?" are about as amusing as being smashed in the vagina with a wet paper bag full of piranhas, it can be befuddling and in extreme cases, downright embarrassing.

Thus, I have fought tooth and nail, both to find out what that expression means, and to collate information on 10 such examples of these women. Gentlemen, if you ever see one of these women at a bar and become possessed with the desire to try your luck, be forewarned that it's going to take more than your boyish charms and your rapier wit to get any of these women into bed - it's going to take intelligence. Or enough Rohypnol to kill a manatee.

Mira Aroyo

Mira Aroyo is a rare, multi-talented gem of a woman hailing from deepest, darkest Bulgaria. Not only is she a member of the brilliant British band, Ladytron (whose album "Witching Hour" I consider to be a must-listen for all of you), but she is also a model. Oh, and she also has a PHD in Genetics from Oxford University. An appealing combination of man-friendly traits - Mira is the kind of girl who can rock out with the band for your friends, pout for you in private, and acknowledge with a reassuring brand of scientific authority that it's not your fault you are going bald.

Mira Sorvino

Semi-proving that I have a fetish for women named "Mira", Mira Sorvino represents both the 2nd Mira on my list and also a disgusting overachiever. Mira graduated "Magna Cum Laude" from Harvard University with a degree in East Asian Studies. Note that I write "Magna Cum Laude" whilst laughing to myself, because my tiny male brain's automatic reaction to the words "cum laude" is to say "haha. cum laude" under my breath, belittling the massive achievement that "Magna Cum Laude" actually is. Mira is fluent in Mandarin and is apparently an excellent singer.

Severn Cullis-Suzuki

A mere 1 year my senior, Severn already has an epic list of accomplishments long enough to cause my testicles to spontaneously retract all the way up to my eyeballs in humble acceptance of how pathetic my life is compared to hers. Yale graduate and daughter of renowned geneticist and environmentalist David Suzuki, Severn is a member of Kofi Annan's Special Advisory Panel and has been awarded so many accolades that I've almost gone full circle and have ceased to be impressed by it.

Natalie Portman

Apart from being an accomplished child and teenage actress, Natalie Portman - now all grown up at age 25 and well within the socially-acceptable moral threshold for me to masturbate over - is as beautiful as she is bright. Fluent in Hebrew and English with conversational ability in a smattering of other languages (including Japanese), Portman also attended top Ivy League institution Harvard University, where she graduated with a degree in Psychology in 2003.

Liya Kebede

From humble beginnings, superstar model Liya Kebede has blossomed into an inspirational role model to make all of us look at the floor and kick our heels in guilt at the fact that we do sweet frick all for the well-being of others. When not strutting down the catwalk draped in Gucci, Louis Vuitton and D&G, Liya Kebede campaigns for social awareness in her role as WHO Goodwill Ambassador for Maternal, Newborn and Child Health. In 2005, she was awarded the UN Day Award and gave this speech as part of her acceptance. She is also head of a self-named foundation to improve the health of mothers and children around the world.

Vanessa Mae

As a violin player myself, Vanessa Mae's story simultaneously amazes me and fills me with envy no matter how many times I read it. Whilst she had the benefit of significant financial backing from affluent parents whereas I had to fashion my first violin from saliva and ripped up pieces of old Chinese newspapers, it is undeniable that she was an extraordinarily talented musician as a youth - having performed with many of the best orchestras in the world well before her 20s. Whilst I look upon her adulthood goal of "sexifying" Classical music with obvious hype-machine-induced cynicism, it doesn't stop me from wanting to be on her.

Queen Rania of Jordan

Whilst many royal women are renowned for their philanthropic activities (a convenient, royal byproduct of being bored shitless and having loads of money), Queen Rania is different. She's hot. In addition to being hot, Queen Rania has quite a brain sitting beneath that multi-million dollar crown. Born a plebian like the rest of us, Rania graduated with a degree in Business Administration and worked at jobs for Citibank and Apple, before becoming all royal by marrying king Abdullah bin Al-Hussein in 1993. With this new-found Real and Ultimate Power, Queen Rania has made her mark on the world with her involvement in several core economic and welfare-related issues including best practices in the field of microfinance and the incorporation of Information Technology into schools. She is also a foundation board member of the World Economic Forum and lends her time to countless other charities and initiatives.

Carmen Kass

As a supermodel, Carmen Kass probably has to deal with a lot of stereotypical assumptions about her intelligence. For example, you probably wouldn't peg her as the kind of girl who excels at abstract, strategic board games. In fact the only game I know that supermodels excel at involves shitloads of cocaine, a parrot that can recite lines from "Ferris Beuller's Day Off" and seventeen buckets of fake semen - but I do keep rather eccentric company. Anyway I digress. Apart from being a model for the likes of Dior, Prada, Gucci and Chanel, Carmen Kass is also the President of the Estonian Chess Association. This isn't just some meaningless, honourary title because she once touched a chess board and the Estonian Chess Association shat their pants and threw money at her agent - she actually kicks arse at chess, plays in tournaments and allegedly prefers a quiet game of chess indoors with friends as opposed to those clichéd supermodel parrot / fake semen parties.

Sabrina Houssami

Sabrina Houssami is Australia's proud entry into the Miss World 2006 contest. Whilst Miss World is usually a depressing, conveyor-belt sushi ride of vacant, wide-eyed women saying the same "world peace is like totally awesome!" judge-friendly speech over and over again, I'm expecting good things from Sabrina, and I'm not just talking about her tits in a bikini top. Sabrina is a mere 19 years old but has already won many accolades in the fields of public speaking and debate. She was a member of the New South Wales champion debating team of 2003 and this year she was a speaker on the winning team of the Goodwill Week Great Debate. She is pretty much everything I look for in a woman - that smouldering yet mysterious Middle-Eastern look and the assertiveness to tell me when I am completely full of shit. Which is all the time.

Ada Lovelace

I know, I know. You can't sleep with a dead woman. Legally. Ada Lovelace is the only dearly departed (in 1852) member of my list, but no less deserving. Ada was trained from birth to be a maths and science genius thanks to her mother's fear and suspicion of hippie, liberal arts types - which was brought on by a nasty breakup with Ada's poet father, Lord Byron. Ada is well known for her contributions to and English documentation on Charles Babbage's Analytical Engine. Ada, with her mathematically-inclined mind, suggested to Babbage to write a plan on how his machine could be used to calculate Bernoulli numbers. This plan is now regarded by historians as the first computer program ever written.

Closing Thoughts

I hope you enjoyed my terrifyingly frank foray into the world of women who are just way better than any of us. Perhaps I've instilled in you a new-found appreciation for the female of the species. Perhaps I've rekindled your interest in personality and intellect over attributes that are merely physical.

So. Which one do you want to BONE?

Source: http://archive.yongfook.com/2006/06/29/10-beautiful-women-who-are-way-more-intelligent-than-you/